loving and hating the little things
/Since we all know it’s the little things that make us crazy, yet at the same time it’s the little things that keep us sane, why not make an exchange. Because with the holidays coming, it’s the little things that will be both our demise and our salvation.
For example -- a clogged pump on my Softsoap could send me through the roof. Yet on the flip side, if the soap has a calming lavender scent when it does work, it could bring me back down to earth.
Little for little.
Why not trade a silly, ludicrous thing like a meltdown when all the spice labels are facing in different directions for a sweet, uplifting thing like a hot bath filled with all those lovely herbs.
Can’t we simply tell ourselves in our well-worn wisdom to de-escalate our reaction to one, and boost our reaction to the other? Tiny for tiny.
Because little bad things are not so little.
Not being able to extract the cap from a bottle of mouthwash, or dropping the Cheerios all over the floor, or trying futilely to carry a sandwich and sunglasses in your mouth at the same time could become big serious stuff. Experts say your reaction to these dumb things has an outsized influence on your stress level, your state of mind, your chance for a long and rewarding future, if you want one.
And yet, most of us would agree these little things are important. We must, right? Why else would we spend so much time apoplectic by a traffic jam, bad customer service, a pair of shoes sitting in the middle of the floor where someone could trip and kill themselves right then and there.
That would be a big thing, but not until it happens.
We defend our right to fall apart over these daily defeats. Yet what if we traded them for the good little victories instead.
For example . . . “For me, bliss is my favorite pair of socks,” says my niece. “My heated mattress cover,” adds a friend. “Trader Joe’s Brown Rice Tortillas that make the best avocado toast,” adds another. “A great swim,” I chime in. “My bike,” says my husband. All good things that could literally make your day and cancel out the bad things that screw it up.
A zero sum game? At the least?
Of course you might say you make these trades all the time. Count your blessings, find the silver linings, stay grateful.
But here’s the challenge: Can you catch the bad little thing before it has its way with you, before it sends your blood pressure soaring and those hives pop out on your chest.
Can you nip it in the bud before launching into a string of invectives over an empty box of tissues, a spilled glass of wine (that is important!), a cracked phone screen?
With Thanksgiving here, and all of us looking for the grateful, we remember how lucky we are to live in a democracy (or used to be) or a leprosy-free zone or have enough money to put food on the table. And of course there’s the down-on-our knees gratitude for our family and friends. Sometimes.
All big things.
But could we revel in the tiny good things, and laugh heartily or at least breathe when it comes to the tiny bad things, pushing out the stress before it gets in. And learn -- yet again, oh please let it stick this time -- how to let the little bad things go, and make the little good things shine like broken glass. I hate when that happens.
Time for a glorious bath.